Sometimes i sit and wonder why i am the way i am……
You see **adjusts chair and brings out pipe…. takes a few puffs…. scratches groin… pulls out underwear from its akwardly lodged position…. smells finger….**
I happen to be a rather extreme individual.
You need to see me on a happy day. I LOVE TO PLAY. i refuse to accept any sadness around me. You must smile.
You need to see me on a not-happy day. I DONT WANT TO SEE ANYBODY. Just wanna be by myself…. well i secretly crave for attention from my friends but they never show up and i get more and more upset…. then after a while i snap back to reality.
You know how one day everything is perfect and then all of a sudden you’re upset and you’re not even sure what is upsetting you?
Maybe you recieved a call from your girlfriend and she says shes not coming to see you today,
Maybe your last 1k fell into the car seat and you cannot find any other way to get it out except you tear the seat (I swear i hate it when anything falls by the side of my car seat…. my hands can never reach it),
Maybe you just cant find what to wear, or maybe some girl you like is now dating someone else but you cant complain because you’re the king of the friend-zone,
Maybe you ate yoruba rice and pepper stew with asun and you just took a shit and now your ass is burning.
Maybe you are at work and you tried to release a small fart but then some shit came out and you have to find a way to get home and fix that (recall you have to wipe everywhere you go cos gaddemit man, you just freaking shit yourself)
Maybe one small geh that is all about herself just insulted you and you’re like “Ahhhh aye mi o, na me be dis?”
Maybe you just started a “knitting for men” class and your instructor keeps yelling
“NOOO you are not knitting from your soul, you’re knitting like you just want people to like you… knit from your heart”
and you go like
“YOU KNOW WHAT? screw you and your knitting class, i dont need this shit”
and your instructor is like
“YES YES…. Let the rage out…. Knit that rage”
…………… I …. i cant even explain what the last example was all about

Sorry wait what are we talking about again?…. chill let me read up……


You know how all these things just happen all of a sudden?? you know??? please tell me you know….. You know right??

Yea thats right i bought a new set of cutlery…..


(N.B. This is the worst write up ever in the history of write ups…. i dont even know what the topic was about….. as in…. what was i supposed to gain from this? is there a protagonist? is this supposed to teach me something? What the hell is happening? am i having a stroke??
YESSS….. YESSS….. Let the Confusion out….. Blog that…..)

– Uncle Scratch

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