Types of people you find in any office:

1, The English Speakers: This set of people seem to think that speaking English can solve all the problems we have in Nigeria. Instead of them to say “this is a door” they will say “this is an entry module that facilitates entrance into this particular occupant lenght and breadth of this building, it acts as an adjoining index between the room yonder and here” WHY??????????


2, The Screamers: These set of people are always angry, screaming at the top of their voices at the most mundane issues. “Why didn’t you print the documents 2 mins from now? WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY???? ARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH”


3, The Complainers: you can never get anything right around these ones so don’t even bother. “Bring that folder here…. Did i say drop it in front of me? You are so Incompetent (oh yeah they love to use this word a whole lot), I cant work with such level of incompetence, i gave one instruction, one, Just One, Bring something here, but Nooooo Mr smart over here decided to take the bold step and dropped it on my table. Well clap for yourself.”


4, The Nothing Works in This Country People: These ones fa, nothing can ever work in Nigeria, even the small one that is trying to work, they don’t appreciate. Just like when Nepa takes light and it takes one min for the generator to come on “No, No, I cant work in this kind of environment, What? Power failure? When i was in the US, I never experienced power failure for one day, Everything works, Not like in this bloody country” Err sorry uncle, you can like to go back to ovasea and leave nigeria for us.


5, The Pretenders: These ones will act like they don’t care about anything in the office but somehow they get all their work done, they know what is happening in every sphere in the office. These people are sneaky mehn, they are the kind of people that can stab a union in the back. Everybody will agree on one thing and these people will go behind and sabotage the whole movement.


6, The Eye Service Ninjas: These ones…. sigh…. these ones are the reason why we are not progressing as a country. Why are you trying to impress? why cant you just do your job and let everybody do theirs without taking anybody’s shine? Which one is introducing yourself to your new boss as “My name is ____ im the one coordinating everybody on this floor because they are all so incompetent, they cant seem to perform the littlest tasks, its quite shameful actually, if you need any help sir, just call me.


7. The Ghosts: Nobody knows these people, they have been working in the office for 10years, they have a parking space but nobody knows them. We just know them by first name or “that guy/girl that sits in the corner alone”. They don’t come for social functions or office functions, they are not interested. Next thing you hear is that they the third of their 6 children is getting married.


Im sure im missing some, please add as you see fit

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