THE PISSING CHRONICLES

As a guy,
Don’t Lie,
You’ve taken a piss in public before.

Stop lying to yourself.
We are guys, When we feel a piss coming, we zip down and point our weapons to wherever is best in our own judgement and we let the piss out.
Nothing wrong with Pissing.
My wife cant stand the thought of guys pissing anywhere.
Truth is, we grew up pissing everywhere.
But then again, who says we cant change?
I had to stop pissing in public years ago after a sermon i heard but the truth is…. I MISS IT.
There are different kinds of public pissing as i was trying to explain to my wife this morning and i will take the initiative to break it down for you.
I hope as you read, you will be blessed.

KINDS OF PUBLIC URINATION FOR MEN

1,THE WALL PISS

This is probably one of the most popular types of pissing for men. Usually done around bars, restaurants, classrooms etc. the biggest problem with wall pissing is that you are definitely pissing around where people are (DUH, its a wall, that means its a building, that means humans are inside most of the time). But there is something very relaxing and releasing about wall pissing… i cant explain it. neither can you. Just watch your shoes though.

2, THE BLOCK PISS

If you are like me and you schooled in Nigeria of which most of our schools always have some sort of construction going on, you will know that there are always cement block makers around. and they heap their cement blocks in nice stacks that just makes you wanna piss on it. I honestly dont know what is relaxing about this manner of pissing but im sure it works for those it works for. Theres usually a small game you play when Block pissing. You try to test the tensile strenght of the block by pissing on one particular spot and seeing how much of the block material you can displace. Maybe create a small hole if the block is made from 2% cement and 98% sand. In a way we men are helping our fellow men check to see if their block makers are cheating them.

3, THE GRASS PISS

EVERY MAN has grass pissed in his life time. there’s no shame in it. Grass pissing is just amazing. With the wind in your air, smell of grass in your nostrils and the grass bowing to the power of your piss. The game we used to play as grass-pissing kids was to try to bend or break blades of elephant grass with our piss. it was a very jolly game tho.

4,THE TREE PISS

Tree Pissing is awesome. You get to drown ants and make patterns on trees. you also get to see if you can make it through the peeing process without missing the target tree. The women would appreciate men that tree piss well because they aim very well and dont piss all over the place in the house.

5, THE SAND PISS.

Look, i dont know who you are, and i dont really care but if you have not pissed on sand as a man…. you have not lived. REALLY?? You’re trying to tell me you haven’t tried to draw power rangers with your piss on sand? or draw smiley face? How did you grow up? where did you grow up? what is wrong with you? Im done… im just dont. im not going to take this sitting down |

ANYWAY, There are other parts of pissing that men will not allow me to talk about because most of us have outgrown some of them. Like the piss sword fight, or the trajectory pissing game. but its all good. We’ve all grown up now and have been tamed by our wives and girlfriends to piss in containments. THEY HAVE CONTAINED OUR PISSING TALENTS.
most of us are now aware of the toilet seat, in fact, some of us now sit down to piss for the sake of piss…. but whatever the case be for you, whatever your partner has done to tame you, just know that the feeling you get when you release hot piss after holding it for a while is next to none… keep pissing away your sorrows…..
If you’re mad, Piss
if you’re broke, Piss
If you’re happy, Piss
If you’re confused, Piss
Piss solves everything
Piss should be PRESIDENT.

 

(When i was looking for pissing pictures on the internet, i saw a lot of naked people pissing. i had to start filtering the words i used for the search to find the appropriate pictures. LMAO… the most akward thing happened. As i did the first search that brought up the naked pissers, a colleague of mind just walked to my desk. LMAO, i tried to close the page but it was too late. She just walked away without talking about it. lmao. So Shame. I have suffered for you all. I hope she gets to read this so i can vindicate my Pious self… LMAO) **walks away piously**