Customer service in Heaven


Sometimes i sit and wonder how heaven will be….
So someone will just die on earth and appear in heaven infront of the Customer Service Angel
“Hello, Good day/Night im not really sure which it is, im really new here”
“Oh welcome child of God, welcome to heaven”
“Yea about that, i need help with my heavenly account… ummm you’re the customer service officer for heaven right”
“Yea Something like that”
“Well so, i know while i was on earth, i learnt to store up treasures for myself in heaven and all…. umm…. Yeah tithes and offerings and all that… but the thing is…. i was kinda saving all my tithes and offerings in one account like that so i can pay it in bulk but i kinda died and came here before doing that…. so im hoping i can block my ATM on earth and do a renewal here in heaven. Dont worry ill pay the N1500 service charge”
“Err sorry child, it doesn’t really work that way up here in heaven, you see heavenly…..”
“Wait.. wait… so are you trying to tell me that i cant access my account here in heaven?”
“hold on child, let me explain…..”
“Err… Sir, Please i don’t need this explanation o…. mo gbe…. I have so much money in that account and i planned to give it as tithe and offering”
“But sir, did you give it?”
“No”
“Well it cannot be accounted for here”
“But its there na, You are an angel, go and remove it from those evil GTBank peoples safe and move it to the heavenly account”
“Errr sorry child, that is not possible”
“Oh, Oh… so you are saying that i will now not have anything in heaven?”
“Sir, we haven’t certified your assurance into heaven yet. We still need to check if your name is in the book of life”
“Its there jo, that is not the case. Lets focus on this money that cannot be transferred”
“Sir, id like to check the book of life for your name before we move further”
“I say leave the matter, my name is inside”
**angel flips through book**
“sir your name is not in here”
“that’s not possible”
“Look sir, your name doesn’t appear here.. Your name Olabode Olayinka Olushola of Nigerian descent, Ogun state, 3rd child of Mr Olabode is not found”
“Err Oga Angel, wait first, let me see this your book…. See it there na… Thats my name”
“Sir, that’s not you”
“That is Olabode Olayinka Suleiman, my nickname in school was Sule”
“That’s somebody else”
“Ah ah, are you saying you don’t know my name was Sule in school? ask all my friends”
“Sir, its not you”
“its me”
“Sir, if you would please step aside and follow the demon on the left”
“Wait first, e duro, Oya collect this N1000, no worry i will settle you….. remember i have plenty money in my account”
“first sir, this is heaven, you don’t bribe an angel, Second, what would i use your money to do in heaven?”
“Just hold it first, eh, Kosi Oro, no story, we go discuss that one later”
“I’m sorry sir, but you are holding up the line, Please can you follow the demon to the left”
“Ah Ah, Is it because i don’t have plenty money here that’s why you are doing anyhow? Do you know who i am? Ask them in Lagos, Ask them in Ekpoma, They know me”
“Sir nobody knows you here”
“that’s why i said you should ask them, Oya come first lets do two aside… lets just talk briefly in one corner”
“Sir, please follow the demon to the …..”
“Ah AH, I say i no dey go, Na by force? I’m not going anywhere. Is it because you feel you’re big and you’re wearing white? if you see my boys, even you go fear. kilon se Angeli yi na? pls dont step on my toes because what you will see with your eyes, you wont like it.”
“Sir, you are compelling me to exert force on you”
“Ewo, Mr oga you cannot threaten me. I know my…..”
***demon shows up***
“Oya oga, make we dey go. E dide, stand up before i tear you slap”
“Ahh, Mopol? Mopol dey here?”
“If i woze you, abi you wan frog jump?”
“Egba mi o, Oga demon mopol, wo, see i have money, i can give you money….”
***recieves slap***
“ahhh my own don finish today”
………………….

Wait how did we get here? I cant remember what i was talking about at the beginning.
Shrugs
whatever

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