We thank God, The day has come and gone so all you guys and ladies can give us breathing space.
For the men that took my advice and bought the fail safe gifts, i really hope ….. you know what? I know you had a good celebration. (Thats why its fail safe)
for the ones that didnt… well you can tell me your experiences.
For the Ladies that didnt take my advice and went ahead to buy boxers and singlet…. I hope you’re single now… Im not even joking.
for the ones that took my advice……………………………………………
BEST VALENTINE STORY:
So on Saturday i went to the flower shop to buy flowers and chocolates for the girlfriend only to find out that the prices of flowers had jumped from 700 naira to 2000 naira per stem. I was like
i sha paid for 10, No yawa, shey is for vals now… i cant complain. then i entered into one gift store and picked out a large white big assed teddy bear. i wouldn’t have even bought the damn thing but i mistakenly tore the ribbon on it and the attendant insisted that i pay for it. I didnt want to make a scene so i whipped out my card again. no wahala. i just sadly went home jejely o.
On sunday i now packaged all the gifts, The card, the flowers, chocolates, big ass teddy bear and a bottle of perfume i had bought earlier and headed off to my girlfriends house. Got there and before i came down, all her neighbours and friends had started screaming and swooning. I was just there…
i was like “baby get in the car, we are going on a spa date and then dinner afterwards”
the girl was just there forming like excitement was not killing her inside.
Meanwhile her friends were just running around me like “ah ah you wont do vals for us, as we dont have boyfriend?”
I dont know who sent me message and i told them, dont worry, you guys go to the fast food joint down the road and have dinner, put it on my tab.
and like a boss again, i went back into my car…. My brain tried informing me of the calculations… but i was already high on the “feeling like a boss moves”
Thats how we went on the spa date, had lunch at the most expensive restaurant in town and then as i was taking her home, i noticed she kept checking her phone and smiling.
Only for me to drop her at home and go down to the fast food to check the damage the little witches had done. N40,000. I wanted to die.
After paying the bill with tears in my eyes, i headed back to her house to know how we would spend the night…
Only for me to see the girl with travelling bag entering one hummer.
Craze entered my head.
THAT WHAT NOW?
BECAUSE OF WHAT?
Flowers – N20000
Chocolates – N10,000
One Big Ass Teddy bear – N25,ooo
One bottle of Perfume – N23,000
Dinner for two – N25,000 Approximately
Spa session for two – N30,000
food for her single friends so they dont feel left out – N40,000
Fuel – N8000
Grand Total: N181,000
My Salary per month – N50,000
I chased the hummer till i caught up and over took them blocking their path.
“OFUNNEKA… WHY!!!” i lamented “How could you do this to me?”
“Young man, What is the problem?” A deep voice asked
I looked up and it was an elderly man smoking a cigar… I was first weak.
i explained everything to the man and he shook his head, went back into his car, threw N200k at me, entered the car and left with her.
I was just there staring at the money…..
I was too upset… I tore all the money up with tears in my eyes……
Okay i cant continue lying…. How will i tear N200,000? am i mad? you want my father to disown me? I even made profits on my investments.
Best Vals day EVER