THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN…. (Edited)


Found this somewhere on facebook and had to edit it to my locality

Let’s say a guy named Fred is attracted to a woman named Martha. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else.

And then, one evening when they’re driving home, a thought occurs to Martha, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: “Do you realize that, as of tonight, we’ve been seeing each other for exactly six months?”

And then, there is silence in the car.

To Martha, it seems like a very loud silence. She thinks to herself: I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he’s been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I’m trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn’t want, or isn’t sure of.

And Fred is thinking: Gosh. Six months.

And Martha is thinking: But, hey, I’m not so sure I want this kind of relationship either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I’d have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily towards, I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person?

And Fred is thinking: …so that means it was… on the first month of premier league that i met her, let’s see…Arsenal has 54 points on the table, chelsea has 62, there are how many matches left again??

And Martha is thinking: He’s upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I’m reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed – even before I sensed it – that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that’s it. That’s why he’s so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He’s afraid of being rejected.

And Fred is thinking: Haa i dont think we can clinch premier league this year dammit, unless chelsea looses all their matches which we know wont happen…. Mourinho no go gree…. WENGER SHA… shit

And Martha is thinking: He’s angry. And I don’t blame him. I’d be angry, too. I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can’t help the way I feel. I’m just not sure.

And Fred is thinking: And next season he wont still buy players, what is wrong with that guy.

And Martha is thinking: Maybe I’m just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I’m sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my self-centered, schoolgirl romantic fantasy.

And Fred is thinking: Maybe i should start thinking of changing clubs, or ill just focus on another league for a while….

“Fred,” Martha says aloud.

“What?” says Fred, startled.

“Please don’t torture yourself like this,” she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. “Maybe I should never have…oh dear, I feel so…”(She breaks down, sobbing.)

“What?” says Fred.

“I’m such a fool,” Martha sobs. “I mean, I know there’s no knight. I really know that. It’s silly. There’s no knight, and there’s no horse.”

“There’s no horse?” says Fred.

“You think I’m a fool, don’t you?” Martha says.

“No!” says Fred, glad to finally know the correct answer.

“It’s just that…it’s that I…I need some time,” Martha says.

(There is a 15-second pause while Fred, thinking as fast as he can, tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one that he thinks might work.)

“Yes,” he says. (Martha, deeply moved, touches his hand.)

“Oh, Fred, do you really feel that way?” she says.

“What way?” says Fred.

“That way about time,” says Martha.

“Oh,” says Fred. “Yes.” (Martha turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.)

“Thank you, Fred,” she says.

“Thank you,” says Fred.

Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Fred gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Plantain chips, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a Arsenal vs Chelsea that he recorded on his PVR. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major is going on in the arsenal camp and changes are gonna be made at the end of the season, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it’s better if he doesn’t think about it.

The next day Martha will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and everything he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression, and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification.

They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it either.

Meanwhile, Fred, while playing FIFA13 one day with a mutual friend of his and Martha’s, will pause just before kick off, frown, and say: “Hey, did Martha ever own a horse?”

And that’s the difference between men and women

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5 thoughts on “THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN MEN AND WOMEN…. (Edited)

  1. Now that’s funny….I bet it was written by a woman! So men are thinking about sport when a six month anniversary is mentioned, and women are so conflicted about the relationship, huh? It seems to me like she was crazy and he was deaf….she just came out of an institution and was hiding not being able to hear. He was driving he can’t read her lips and never heard her mention anything about a “six month anniversary”. When he was silence, she start thinking things that got her put in the institution in the first place. So the moral of the story is “two people hiding secrets can’t communicate freely because they live in their heads”….nice lesson!!!!

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  2. Thank you for your article but if this is your opinion that these are the differences between men and women, please let me take the time to say that I think this is a massive stereotype with perhaps little if any truth to it and it is sad to think that people still consider to have this sad view of men- i.e. that men don’t want do deepen relationships, that they’re selfish by nature and that they’re interested in the trivial things of life, rather than the important things of life. With a view like this, it’s little wonder that men are perceived the way they are and it’s doing great men a great disservice, especially when women are not as angelic and relationship-oriented as some great men are!

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