What i learnt on Onitsha street (Part 1)


“You’re Fired”
“No way? Who does that? Like really? Who fires the main character at the begining of the story.”
“I don’t give a shit”
“Whaaaa”
“You’re still fired though”
“Aww mehn, for how long am I fired?”
“Arrrrggghhhh…. Get out of my office”
“But you haven’t even told me why you’re firing me, why the hell am I fired?”
“Get the hell out….”
“But….”
“NOOOOWWWWW!!!!!”
The store manager rubbed his temples clockwise then anti clockwise…..
“How I hired that idiot… I have no idea” he muttered to himself
“You’re bigger than this louis…. You are calm, you are gentle, you a a white swan gliding across a lake…. Whosaah… Whosaah…”
Suddenly his office door popped open.
“Sorry sir, I know I’m like fired and all… But can I like… Get a raise or something”
MUG SMASHES ON THE HURRIEDLY SHUT DOOR.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

“So I think I kinda got fired today….”
“Oh really?”
“Wait tunji you’re like my best friend and all what not but what does it really mean if your boss throws a coffee mug at you”
“What the?? He did that??”
“Yea, I kinda think he was coming on to me though. I hear there’s a species of monkeys that throw stuff at the female counterparts which they fancy…. I know we are both guys… But with all this talk of gay stuff everywhere…. I don’t know… Well he’s not the ugliest guy out there….”
“I know what you mean dude…. Maybe he was like PMS’ing or somthing…”
“Do guys PMS?”
“I don’t know,but since we think he’s gay already…. I guess it would be safe to think there’s some sort of guy PMS and all”
“Hmm… Tunji have I told you how smart I think you are?”
“Duh, its kinda genetic you know…. My parents said my grandpa was really smart”
“Oh yea I would believe that…. You must have gotten it from him… Let’s take some time to ponder about the miracle of the genetic transfer of brilliance”
They both looked to the ceiling and set their faces square like they were doing some deep thinking.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

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