what farts are made of


Omg guys there was this fart I wanted to fart on my way from katsina back to abuja. Omg I knew it was gonna be beast cos I had been holding it in for hours. Coupled with the fact that I had pounded yam with okro then biscuits and a lot of local yoghurt the night before and I had previously had fried yam with a lot of eggs some hours before that…. Wait, that morning I had beans and bread and I didn’t drink water. OH SHIT. Noway, this fart was going to be a keeper. I needed to save this one for the records. This was one of those farts that make you have amnesia, one of those farts that have people wind down their windows in an aeroplane, the kind of fart that make the crippled walk, the kind of fart that pauses time, this was a chuck norris fart. I really wish there was a way to store your farts and there was like an international regulatory body that measured farts and give like the world record holder like a million dollars or something… But how would they get funding? Maybe if there was a way to prove that farts could repair the already damaged ozone layer then countries would start funding the organisation and NGO’s would start bringing out the cash…. But wait, countries fund international NGO’s so why would NGO’s also fund the organisation when the countries are already funding too….. Where was I?
Oh yea and since the chemical formular for ozone is O3 maybe we could find the chemical formular for farts and find out if it really reacts with O2 and gives off O3 as a by product but then we would be having a lot of sulphuric rain cos I’m too damn sure there’s sulphur in farts. You think I’m lying? Why the hell do u think H2SO4 smells like farts or rotten eggs? Its the sulphur baby, but you wouldn’t know that now would you? Did you go to school at all? Maybe you were one of those lazy ones that used to sit at the back of the class drawing the teacher. I sat at the back of the class… That made me who I am today…. I didn’t draw my teacher though…. Wait.. What are we talking about again??
Sigh
The end

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2 thoughts on “what farts are made of

  1. Oh boy! I know I’ve got a killer fart! You would choose to be in the same room with a decomposing corpse than perceive some people’s fart!

    Like

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