What Happened Between 7am and 8am

The cock crowed/crew/craw (look I don’t know what the past tense of crow is, abeg try and figure it out yourself) at about 7am and …. (ok so there are no hens in my area, I’m sorry… lemme start again please)

At 7am, my eyes opened like a 90’s RnB video where they wake up in slow motion and go to the window to watch the sunrise and all that blah. As my consciousness slowly seeped into my body, I moved my head slightly to get a clear view of the clock hanging over the TV.
“7:00am? WHAAAAAAAAT?”
My eyes popped open immediately and…..

(Sorry this method is not working too… im sorry abeg, Last time…. Abeg no vex0

It was a Wednesday morning and I was hung over from all the alcohol I had last night, apparently I had come home from work the night before and found out that there was no food in the house, all I had was a bottle of vodka and groundnuts, oh and a pack of indomie… hungry man size……

(Im not writing again… abeg leave me jo, as the thing no gree commot again nko? U dey craze? You think say to write post na beans? No be today wey I start to dey write na, you have been reading all my posts since and you didn’t complain, today that I cant find a way to introduce the post you are now cursing me. Its not fair, ive been trying so hard to give you joy all these months writing post after post and none of you… ABSOLUTELY NONE of you has even offered me common Okin biscuit to wash mouth. Is it fair? I ask you, is it fair? Are you alright? Are we all mad?….. Accept my Sympathy.

Merry Christmas…. (Yes its July…. So??? Park abeg)