My name is Odinaka Ofonagorom and I own the Chemist down the road,
I am in jail now and before I go to the guillotine I would like to tell you my story
you see, last week I realized I needed to hire a help for my shop and Im hardly around these days
due to the other business I am running on the side.
I thought of closing down the shop but with the rampant cases of malaria, typhoid, dysentery and gonorrhea in the area,
I really felt it was necessary to continue rendering services to the good residents of the neighborhood.
I hired a young chap named Ignatus and he seemed really eager to learn, so I decided to mentor him into the business line of chemistry.
It so happened that yesterday when I came to the shop to collect returns for the day, I noticed an elderly man and a small girl
standing at akward positions infront of my shop. The sight of their positions were really hilarious so I admit I laughed at them.
I actually thought they were playing a game of some sort.
Only for me to go into the shop and I asked

“igna… wetin that man and that girl dey do outside shop na?”

“my oga, dem don dey like that since 30 minuites o, I no know wetin dey worry them”

“really? Did they come to buy anything here?”

“my oga, na the man come inside here o tell me say make I give am anything wey go make am stop to dey cough.. e talk say the cough dey serious so tey e dey even cough blood”

“okay? So did you give them benylin or cofta?” I asked distinerestedly

“no oga, na Andrews liver salt I give them o”

“WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT? Andrews what? Does that look or sound like cough medicine to you?”

“my oga, na you talk say make I dey use my head to know wetin to give people wey dey come inside hia”

“and a LAXATIVE is what you decided to give to people with cough??”

“Oga I know say Andrews Liver salt to make am shit water water shit…. Look the man now…. E no fit cough again… fear no gree am… if e cough PIOM…. E go use shit scatter body.”

“OMG what nonsense”

“Oga leave that thing… you see this man and him pikin, cough no go gree dem again I dey tell you, na shit dem dey fear to shit… na so dem take stand well well like dat”

I rushed outside to the man and his daughter, and tried to have a conversation with them…. He tried to speak…. That was when he shat everywhere…..

I got arrested…. I don’t have a license to sell drugs….. I never knew u needed a license for such things…. Please pray for me


4 thoughts on “Ignatus

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