General Studies 101: CONVERSATION KILLERS

Course Outline

lol

brb

k

ggmub

llnp

mii

 

Lesson 1:

English has suffered in Nigerian hands a lot ever since it was introduced by them colonial masters. It witnessed the “r” and “l” substitution by the Igbo’s

it made it through the “p” situation in the hands of the Hausas it even survived us creating a whole different syntactical and verb agreement wrong form of grammar we call broken English

but one thing that i believe saved it and kept it going through all this, is the fact that written English remained written English

But alas in our age we have decided to fix this oversight.

 

we have short forms for everything now, acronyms like tgif and tdb are common. Some are actually meaningful others are plain just retarded .

we daily look for shorter ways to write everything, the kids have almost forgotten how to spell and the bb craze going on in our country is not really helping matters.

(Why the phone is trending over here i have no idea, cos let’s face it, it is crap) and the worst part of this all is that i am even affected

do u know how many times i had to backspace because i typed “becos” instead of “because” or “n” instead of “and”?.

 

There are 2 main types of these short hand forms that really piss me off, i call them

 

1. Useless ones

2. Conversation killers

 

The useless ones

 

Initially short forms where used to abbreviate sentences that where very common. short forms where mainly acronym based

i.e the first letter of each word was used to make up the short for example

age sex location (asl). Thank God its Friday(TGIF) these actually make sense, but nowadays u see stuff like llnp and ggmub what does this even me

long live no prosperity ? How can u use the short form of a word in an acronym? it’s just wrong and there are even shorts that are longer than

their originals. Once saw a girl write “mii” instead of “me”. I’m not even going to talk about that

 

 

Conversation killers

 

Nigerian girls finally “do not carry last ” and have found very useful ways or techniques to use various kind of these short forms to Kill all conversations (by our I mean we guys).three of their favorite weapons are

 

1. Lol

2. K

3. Brb

 

Lol meaning (laughing out loud)

 

Real meaning: you are beginning to disturb me

 

Main usage: to annoy and frustrate

 

They really outdid themselves with this one, never new laughter cud be so annoying picture this scenario

 

Problem: boy collects girls pin, boy chats with girl for one week, girl gets tired of boy. Boy keeps disturbing girl, girl needs to get rid of boy

 

Well not to fear the “lol” to the rescue.

 

Solution: (sample chat)

 

Boy: sup

 

Girl: fine

 

Boy: so how have u been?

 

Girl: lol

 

Boy: this one you are happy like this today

 

Girl: lol

 

Boy: aii, so u wants to go out today

 

Girl: lol

 

 

Boy: y are u lolling (yes lol apparently has the ing form *eye roll*)

 

Girl: lol

 

As u can see I assure u that boy will get the message

 

 

K meaning ok (which is the short form of okay, so this is like a grand short form or something. smh)

 

K real meaning I have more important things to do than chat

 

Usage: same as above

 

 

Brb meaning be right back

 

Real meaning f*** off

 

Usage

 

Of all their tools this is the dreaded, usually used in these kinds of scenarios

 

Scenario: boy gets girls pin

 

 

Girl: where did u get my pin?

 

boy: I got it from a friends fone

 

Boy: u looked nice and I really want to get to know u

 

Girl: k

 

Girl: brb (f**k off)

 

Then for full measure they usually change their DP or pms just to let u know they didn’t go any where

 

I’ve gotten some brbs in my time, some occasions if u ask me it was totally uncalled for…smh

 

Anyways it’s been nice venting on this blog, thanks cuz for this opportunity.

So I guess ill ttyl and that said ill

Brb.