The voice of an angry Nigerian chicken


Heres Something From another Co-writer @msfixx_it J

 
 

Good Day my people… Should I really say Good or bad? I have reached a stage where I am forced to complain about the behavior of our predators.. THE HUMANS!

 
 

I don’t know why you people cannot just be content, we have been sacrificing our kind just for the sake of our children. We give you a couple of matured chickens everyday as a sacrifice, just to appease you, so that you wont begin to eat our children. And now you have taken our goodwill into your hands and turned it into plain and utter disregard for chicken lives. Since the very popular Chicken Republic and KFC moved to town, the demand for our bodies has highly increased. Our mortality rate has tripled. The gothic horror and gore of watching you cannibals tear and devour our kind with relish has aggravated the anger in our hearts and the tears in our eyes. Your men no longer buy teddy bears, chocolates and perfumes to impress their girls, They now use US(barbecued, roasted, crispy, grilled, peppered.. You name it) to win a female’s heart. Seriously!! Why cant you men just learn from us and our ways??!! We  do it the easy way.. puff your feathers, flaunt your masculinity and show the ladies whose boss!!!. (although when it comes to sex, we have to literarily run after our women for a couple of minuites before we have our 5seconds of intimacy) but you wouldn’t understand the concept, we believe that to build up libido, you need to do some physical exercise. (this is not the reason why we are here… I digress..)

With all our efforts to escape from death, we came up with bird flu.. Our dear Nigerians responded by saying “if you boil am well for 120 degrees water, make you com rub am pepper and fry am for very HOT oil.. All the flu wey dey inside go dieee!!”.

Then we tried turning our necks In very awkward and uncomfortable positions to fake illness (though some of us weren’t faking it).. It worked for some time where we would just get thrown away but nowadays its different because as soon as they begin to notice the act, they put knives to our necks immediately and pretend killed us first!!..  Like seriously!!?? Even those that just turn their neck to look sideways have to be cautious when they do that..

Then you see them pretending and asking silly questions (why did the chicken cross the road?) To get the *bleep* away from you *bleeping* chicken assassins!!! Like WTF!!! Do you need Einstein to prove that one too?? !!

 

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11 thoughts on “The voice of an angry Nigerian chicken

  1. LMAO! Nd am guessing this writer is a gurln hmmmm……….. Can u pls come out, lemme puff my hands (as I ho get feathers) nd chance u for like 5 mins, then….. U pick it up from there cos ‘a word is a enof for the wise’. Haahaahaaaaa!

    Nice post…. I repeat, Nice nd lovely post…. But seriously, if the chickens re tryin to get away from their killers, they sudnt cross d road cos that’s where their killers live #okbye

    Like

    1. Lmaooooooooo!!!!!!!!! Dat act is 4 chickens only :p + dey crossd d road hoping dat ders a new life ahead…..*staring @ sky* Hahahahahaha!!!!!

      Like

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