adventure time


so i was walking home on my own yesterday afternoon, when two men…no 3 men…. no 6men walked up to me and were like 
“shh be quiet! if you make a sound we will just kill you… just continue walking”
i didnt say a word…. i just kept walking. thinking to myself ‘na so? i dont dey hear kidnapping gist, na so dem go take kidnap me my own? who we go call for ransom now? how i wan take devalue myself now wey these guys no go use give my papa heavy ransome bill?’ 
anyway i just kept walking like i was told… all six men stationed themselves strategically around me some were arguing at the back, i couldnt really make out what they were saying but i heard something about car…spoil…..bus….**shrugs**

anyway, a few mins later we are at a bustop and the men are trying to flag down a taxi. For clarity’s sake I shall name the men as Man 1 to Man 6. In order of their ranks as I perceived.

“nyanya???” man 2 asked the taxi man he had flagged down

“1500 sir” the taxi man replied chewing his kolanut religiously

“EHHH” Man 2, 3 and 6 screamed simultaneously “nyanya no be 400 naira?”

“oga, fuel no dey and na 7 of una wan enter my moto, that na overloading but I just wan do am for una” the taxi man replied

“abeg dey go before I vex” man to screamed at the taxi man

The taxi man drove off and a couple of others came by, also calling ridiculously high prices…. Apparently the first taxi was the cheapest so far. Man 2,3,4 and 5 started discussing with Man 1 in hushed tones leaving man 6 to make sure I didn’t run away. (I was still in shock though)
the meeting ended and man two told us to walk a little further down the road which we did and to my surprise this Man flagged down a bus.
“Nyanya?” he asked the scruffy looking conductor

“yes! abeg carry your N100 change o” the conductor replied

This generated another round of screaming and insults from Man 1 to man 6, but they still shoved me into the bus and climbed in still reigning curses at the conductor and driver.
45mins later, the conductor looked back
“abeg bring your money” he asked man 2

“I dey come” he said and dug his hand into his pocket, bringing out a N200 naira note.. “ah ah “ he said while he continued searching all his pockets frantically ,
“ahh” he finally said “ I think say na N500 I carry I no know say na N200”
and a Whole new round of insults began to shower, this time from the bus driver and conductor to the 7 of us.
“idiot people, una know say una no get money, una dey enter bus, ahh lie lie o, una must pay that money today… all these bending-corner kain boys sha, una dey like feel like say una get sense ni, u go hear am today. Make we reach this park na, una go hear am” the driver kept saying repeatedly.

Meanwhile Man1 to Man6 were arguing among them, apparently man2 had lost their transport fare and they didn’t want to get to any bus park because they knew what bus drivers could do to them at the park… so they started to panic.
I did something stupid…. Yes I dipped my hand in my pocket, brought out N1000 and paid for all of us. They all thanked me profusely and we all dropped off at nyanya. Man5 started complaining how hungry he was so I offered to buy him gala and pure water. On getting to the kidnappers camp, I asked for where I would be sleeping and they showed me a little bed in a corner which I was supposed to share with man 4.

Long and short of the story, I ended up taking care of my kidnappers and when I decided to leave, I gave them pocket money. Which they appreciated. I also explained to them the dangers of kidnapping and promised to help them find jobs soon.

I left their house with all of them coming to escort me then I waved down a taxi going back home. Apparently it was Christmas day and I had been kidnapped for 2days. Nobody looked for me, nobody called for me… nobody called.
we had gotten half way into the journey when I asked the driver, Oga how much you dey go sef? And he told me N10,000.

I think I fainted or something because I cant really hear all what he said after that, I know he mentioned Fuel subsidy gone or something like that, prices on the increase, blah blah blah.

I don’t know how to end this story…. But im trying to link my story to Christmas day and the fact that removal of fuel subsidy would triple transportation prices…. (about my No-car-having, no-cash-having kidnapper friends??… I have no idea where they fit into the story… maybe…. Maybe… the fuel subsidy is affectin them too…. I should even be posting this…. Who cares… I said I was gon give a christmas post and there you have it… its not even funny…. :p)

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