You have no idea

The Shortest Joke: Two women sat down quietly….


8:00AM: Fred kissed his wife goodbye and backed out the driveway while Sandra watched him drive away with love in her eyes thinking to herself ‘I married the perfect man, he’s my best friend, he is my brother, he is my lover and my soul’
(let me take a second to throw up here)
she headed back into the kitchen with love filled eyes. She had been married to Fred for 4years and they had no children yet but he never seemed to mind, as long as she was happy, Fred was happy.

9:30AM: Fred kissed Banke goodbye and backed out the driveway while she watched him drive away with love in her eyes thinking to herself ‘ I have the perfect boyfriend, He’s just really sensitive, coming to see me before going to work. He’s everything I need in a man, takes me out shopping, pays my bills, hopefully we will be getting married soon…
She headed back into her apartment to dress up for work.

12:00Noon: Sandra gets the most amazing idea, to prepare lunch for Fred and drop it at his office. And she begins to prepare… meanwhile…. Banke somehow gets the same idea and is preparing Lunch for Fred

(don’t think you know where the story is going jor, you think I’m writing one home video script titled “out of love” or “sorrows of love” or “love in the office” or “two women love the same man” or some shit like that… that’s not where I’m going with this?? You don’t even have any idea where im going with this so shush… it’s just like that time when I was taking a girl on a date and anywhere we passed she would be like “are we going here?” and id be like “NO”. GOSH don’t be acting like you know me mehn… you don’t even have the slightest idea what goes on in my mind… I do sick things….oooo things that you would never imagine people do in their minds…. You don’t even wanna know the lengths I would go… ok back to my story)

2:30PM: Banke walks into the lobby of Fred’s office and some seconds later Sandra walks in too. They both take the elevator to the 6th floor with parcels in their hands…
“Going to see my boyfriend….” Banke said… trying to start up a conversation
“Aww that’s really cute, I am actually here to deliver lunch to my husband” Sandra replied
“that’s so nice” Banke replied.

DING! 6th Floor… Elevator opens….

There’s Police everywhere, Two men are being ushered out of an office in handcuffs.

“FRED??” Banke and Sandra shout simultaneously

Both men look up… shake their heads and are led out by the cops.

Some officers come over to the still visibly shocked women to explain what was going on.

Apparently someone walked in on Fred having sex with Fred in the janitor’s closet. (I’d bet you didn’t see that coming right? Two Fred’s?? Both Gay??)
Well both Fred’s were being taken to the police station to wait to see a judge. They would most likely get 14years in jail for being gay…..

Shocked out of their minds….


FOOTNOTE: #just saying… the new anti gay bill is just weird… I would expect the government to have something more to do with their time than to be chasing gay people around. The funny thing is that, the gay community seems rather harmless to the society. They are actually a couple of sissy boys who cannot hurt a damn fly. But the government reckons they are more dangerous than suicide bombers. On that note I would like to extend the gay bill

1, if you are caught involved in any romantic act with another person of the same sex…….14yrs

2, if you are caught holding hands with any person of the same sex……..10yrs

3, if you are caught swinging the hands……12years

4, if you are caught hugging another person of d same sex…… 12years

5, if the hug lasts for more than one second ……14years….




19 thoughts on “You have no idea

  1. You’ve started!! And who told you I didn’t figure out where you were going with the Freds?!! And about the gay thing, there’s something called ‘corruption of public morality’ which govt is allegedly protecting. Yea, so there’re more pressing issues they should attend to, true true. Love your digressions by the way, very entertaining. Shows how truely cra.. I mean creative you are.


    1. LMAO….. AMA darlin. im just saying sha. i do not support being gay tho but i never woulda thought that such a bill would occupy the minds of those in government at a time like this. its just very somehow. whatever sha. ive missed you tho 😦


  2. don’t start what u can’t finish! Leave this topic alone..that’s my advice. The rate at which u’re going, in the next 3 yrs, u’ll write another blog saying “therez nuthing wrong. As long as two people of the same sex are in love, what’s wrong? Love is harmless…after all God is Love”….and all that crap! There most likely won’t be that many arrests and No judge will actually sentence anyone to 14yrs for being “gay”….Just watch and see how the situation pans out. Rather than spend time yarning….PRAY! and sincerely too…..Love you


    1. well i do not support being gay, my only problem is that i dont understand why this topic is making headlines when the govt have their hands full with boko haram and fuel subsidy and all the likes… just saying. they should have mor important things to do that chasing gay people all around the country. Lets prioritize stuff. whats more important??


      1. Don’t mind ε̲̣,every puppy to me iz a chihuahua.hmmmmm,‎​A̶̲̥̅♏ not interested in dis ur discussion ojare!


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