Before I even b…


Before I even begin I would like to remind you about the three different personalities that reside within me. This is not a joke. I first realized this a couple of years ago and ever since then I have been studying my other two counterparts with utmost awe and interest. They amuse me, they annoy me, they irritate me but still they are my best friends. – Brovaman

CEEJAY: Very business oriented guy, Street smart, Lagos boy, No time, if its not making money its not making sense , he’s good at basically everything he puts his mind to, Fashion uninterested, doesn’t mind working 24hours straight to get that job done, very reliable, hardly has time for women but is really interested in them, shy guy. Likes to communicate in plain English/pidgin when necessary

SCRATCH: Very crazy someborry like this, this guy has no control; he just opens his mouth and says whatever comes out first. He’s really loud, generally outspoken, calls a spade a spade and not a shovel, but on the flip side he’s really caring, I have to give it to him. Likes to communicate in Pidgin and plain English.

BROVAMAN: The ladies man, He knows he’s no George Clooney or Morris Chestnut, but can talk a lady’s pants off. Feels very comfortable around women and they feel comfortable around him too. Good looking. Fashion conscious (metro Sexual), not very good with relationships but would rather flings. Likes to communicate in British English (with a hint of an accent)
(Compiled by Ceejay)

Now the problem started when Brovaman lost a girl to Ceejay. As in the thing funny die. I just dey there dey look the two of them as dem dey fool their self. What happened was that we saw this babe and Brovaman went to block the babe sharply, no time, after giving this smor geh yarn, the girl agreed to go for lunch with us. And everything was cool. Apparently Ceejay hadn’t even said anything then, and Brovaman was already beaming with pride saying stuff like
“I bring the babes, and you guys just stand there and watch…smh… when will you boys learn..”
me I just told the fool to gaan park well under reservoir. No time. Ceejay just quiet like rat wey dey plan bad thing. Anyway, 30mins later we dey SFC for wuse 2 dey relate this babe o, and the impossible happened. Gist finish for Brovaman mouth. Eh I swear, the entire guy playa-playa gist just end, apparently the gurl just seemed uninterested with all his talk about women and guys and all that blah. Omo remain small make the geh just stand up use her vex-money dey go house o, until Ceejay just asked
“lemme ask you a quick question”
“yea?” the girl replied uninterestedly
“but If you had a million naira today, what would you do with it?” he asked Omo this girl’s eye just shine like say dem flash torch light from inside her brain.
“I would buy a couple of blah blah blah, I know where I can get them in bulk for cheap in Lagos and then I could bring it down to Abuja here and sell at blah blah blah for almost double the rate. Do you know how much money one can make in this Abuja with just… blah blah blah” at this point you know me na, I was just totally uninterested, I don dey reason one family guy episode for my mind. No time. Omo like joke like joke o 4 hours just pass FIAM like that, these two people still dey gist. Anyway when we got back home sha, na so Brovaman come dey attack Ceejay o, dey spark say na him do all the work, Ceejay just go collect kill. Omo can you believe Ceejay and Brovaman haven’t been talking since then? Na me dem come dey use as middle man. How I wan do sef? If I get knife I fit just kill dem two leave only me. Dem sabi act home video sha. But me I dey trust Ceejay na, no time, d boy just face him work straight, Brovaman dey one corner dey chase woman up and down, me I just settle dey organize post… Scratch The end

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12 thoughts on “Before I even b…

  1. U really r crazy!! Am almost dizzy reading dis!! I just have 2 ppl. Just a few ppl get to meet meltrick. She is a real bitch and a freak.

    Like

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