Theres nothing sexy about writing exams. My jamb writing days were not the best days of my life academically but I daresay they were the beginning of the best days of my life socially. Back then in secondary school I was basically the shyest boy in the class, I just kept to myself and spoke only when I was spoken to. Life was rather gay back then now that I think of it. Nowadays I tell people that I was a very analytical child, I loved to study people and situations that was why I did very little talking, maybe that’s why I know the much I know about girls, guys, relationships and people behaviour.
I remember very clearly in Jss3, I had just 2 friends. Timi and Mimi Benson. Yes, they were twins….no, they were not both boys does mimi look like a boy name to you?….No, inshort, I don’t know……..No I didn’t, mimi was cute but I never really looked at her like that….Could you please leave me alone, im trying to write a book here….Goodness gracious.
Anyway, timi and mimi were twins, timi was a boy and was my Bunkie, I never mentioned I was in a boarding school, well I don’t think Im going to mention it so you have to use your initiative to figure out I was in a boarding school unless you are waiting for me to tell you to use your initiative which I should do but im not in the mood right now. Timi was a rascal and was always trying to get me to do crazy things that on a normal day I would never have imagined I could even think of doing…..Oh, wait, you don’t even believe me…ok check this out.
Regular Saturday afternoon, we have hostel inspection by 9am so we wake up by 6am to clean up the hostel and the surrounding area. Prefects are usually on their toes on days like this because the results of the inspection usually tells on their responsilities for the next week and no prefect wants to add an extra chore to his regular schedule. On inspection days everybody is bent over some work or the other, people sweeping the quadrangle, some mopping floors, cleaning windows, removing cobwebs, cutting grass, arranging beds and lockers,cleaning toilets and bathrooms, even the laundry. But there was a very special job everybody always wanted on Saturdays….Refreshments. This was the idea, we have to work for 3hours on Saturday morning which is a rather long time compared to the everyday 30minitues, so the school makes arrangements for light refreshments after work so that people do not pass out from the load of overworking. Refreshments usually consists of fruits (usually sliced pineapples and oranges) sometimes biscuits and ponche (diluted tasty time or nutri C…ewwwww) or just small pieces of cake and tea (which never really happens…happened just once tho). My room had 32 students on 16 double bunks laid 8 on each side of the room, the room was really big so there was no problem with space although sometimes the room captain (who was usually a year or two ahead of us) would make a very large corner for himself depriving the rest of the students on his side of the room ample space for themselves.
ANYWAY (I seem to have been using the word a lot…hmm…maybe im in a bad mood today), on this particular Saturday, Timi wakes up by 5:45am and decided that he didn’t want to stay for hostel inspection and suggested we elope.
”we should JA?” (that was what we called ‘running away’ back then”
“Yes, we wont be the first to.”
“Mehn, this guy, stabbing inspection is a very serious crime o” (stabbing means going A.W.O.L)
“So? Are you coming or what?”
”No way mehn, you are on your own on this one”
“Very well, no problem”
And he turned and began to walk away, without looking at me….plus, he was walking slowly….there was nothing good about that…nothing, I tell you….nothing whatsoever
”Ok ok, whats the plan” I asked
”AHA!” he ran back to where I was
” I knew you would change your mind…if you know what I had planned to do to you..”
”duh,…but why do you keep involving me in these your incessant plans to rule the world and ruin the lives of innocent students of this school? Because, like you know, most times I am so not interested in it”
“You wont understand until you are older”
“Until am older? Idiot I am just 2 months younger than you”
”Older in the mind brother, older up here” he said, pointing to his temples.
Timi just liked to feel like an old man, but you need to see him when hes crying, mucus mixed with tears spread all over his nose, on his forehead, on both hands…he was usually a sight to behold. Plus I need to tell you that I was necessary for me to give in to the boys plan because, when timi decides he wants to do something with me and I do not agree to go with him, it usually turns to war because he would do some amazingly evil thing to me that I would begin to wish I just followed him foolishly in the first place.
Anyway, this was the plan by my wonderful friend TIMI BENSON.
We run away to the classroom area, hide inside one of the empty and dried up water tanks around class area, sleep there with the pillow and the supplies that we have brought with us. (supplies being, stolen pineapples and oranges meant for inspection refreshments). As dangerous and stupid and this plan seemed, I caught on to it immediately and even helped in stealing the pineapples and oranges while timi packed a sleeping bag. 30minitues later, we were lodged inside a red tank that was high about the jss1 classroom roof.it was totally dry and empty apart for some lizards and geckos that lived there. With our torchlights, we set up camp in the tank and named it ‘base camp’ the began devouring the fruits and then we started gisting and laughing for hours, before then we had slept because we didn’t want to waste our battery power since it was still really dark outside and we still felt a little sleepy. Little did we know that the tank echoed our voices and was projecting it outside and then the wind was carrying it down towards the hostels. So while we were laughing and having a good time, a head poked into the tank, I must have fainted out of fear because I realy cant remember what happened in the next few minitues, it might have been okay if it was just another student, but it was the headboy, and he had been sent by the principal and the rest of the inspection committee. They were all standing at the bottom of the ladder.
Im sorry I cannot relate to you how we came down from the tank hands all shaky and all and how we were beaten and taken to every room in school and was punished while the inspectors were doing their thing, it wasn’t anthing close to funny in anyway, although the whole school tough it was funny, I think I even saw timi laughing too but he denied it….now what does that have to do with anything……